texts last night from a nightowl's phone

Here are some random amusing text messages I received over the past few months, some of which are taken out of context:

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I just hit the jackpot. old people packed me up a plate of all this food before i could say no

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Hey, you going to laser tag?...I never thought at 24 I would be asking that question

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I saved you a biscuit

Are you coming back? Can I have the biscuit?

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ahh i just saw question mark man on a mo-ped on conn ave!!

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Ps ben says he has chicken so come over

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A guy selling street sense just asked me out to a movie

I wasn't interested. I was so confused though. Money for a movie?

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real world is starting to film in dc!! in dupont! my goal is to get on that show when we were out at bars!

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Hey sweetheart, how r u? Did u get ur crab soup?

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Dreams do come true!!!!

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Are you watching the game? Holy shit. JJ Redick is JACKED!

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Baby this your girlfriend

Me: Baby who in hell is this?

Your fucking girlfriend

Me: I'm a girl...

Sorry wrong number

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so i am at jack in the box but did not get the mini buffalo ranch chicken sandwich

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just got out and want to eat a small animal

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You will be amused to know that i just spent an hour climbing in and out of bushes SOBER on campus trying to find where i popped a squat yesterday and lost my

Me: I think the rest of the message got cut off but I assume this could not have ended well lol

Oops what's the last word you received?

Me: My

lost my glasses. I'm sure passersby were thoroughly entertained.